Learning to Let Go

I’ve been thinking about an old story from the Mahabharata lately, one that keeps coming back to me. It’s about Karna and Duryodhana, two friends bound by loyalty. Karna, given away as a baby, grew up facing endless whispers about his birth. In Duryodhana, he found more than just protection – he found validation, someone who made him feel seen and worthy when others looked away. This validation created such deep gratitude in Karna that he stayed, even as Duryodhana walked a darker path.

Sitting with this story, I began to see something in myself. We all have our own version of Duryodhana, but it’s not another person – it’s a voice inside us. I’ve come to know this voice well. It validates every hurt, justifies every reaction, makes every emotion feel right and true. Just like Duryodhana did for Karna, this voice makes us feel understood, making it harder to see how it slowly leads us into darkness.

At first, it feels like comfort. Like having a friend who always takes your side, who has an explanation for every emotion, a reason for every reaction. But lately, I’ve noticed something about this inner voice – it never lets me move forward. Instead, it keeps me centered in my own story, making everything about me, my hurts, my reactions. When I listen to it, I sink deeper into darkness, into fear and anger that feel impossible to escape.

The strange thing is, even when I realized this wasn’t helping me grow, I found myself so deeply entangled with this voice that I couldn’t tell where it ended and I began. It had become such a part of my identity that the thought of letting it go felt like losing a piece of myself. I was stuck, not because the voice was helping me, but because I had forgotten how to exist without its constant validation.

But here’s what I’m learning – letting go doesn’t have to be a battle. Just like a plant withers without water, this part of ourselves grows quiet when we stop feeding it our energy. We don’t need to fight it. We just need to gently turn away, to say, “I understand you were trying to protect me, but I don’t need this protection anymore.”

Sometimes I still hear that voice. But now I know I have a choice. I can either get tangled in its story of hurt, or I can simply return to this moment, where life is actually happening. It’s like stepping out of a dark room into sunlight – suddenly everything is clearer, more alive.

In these moments of clarity, I feel closer to something bigger than myself. Not lost in yesterday’s pain or tomorrow’s fears, but here – where peace lives, where love flows, where I can finally be who I’m meant to be.

I’m discovering that true freedom isn’t just about breaking free from that voice – it’s about releasing ourselves from all these stories we’ve wrapped so tightly around ourselves. When we stop making everything about us, stop needing that constant validation, something shifts. We find ourselves able to move more freely, to see beyond our own small world of hurts and reactions.

And when that old familiar voice comes back? I remind myself: I don’t need to push it away. I don’t need to feel stuck in its grip. I just need to let it be, while choosing to stay here, in this moment, where life is actually happening.

Running to a happier self

I have struggled with clinical depression for the last few years and I hit rock bottom last year. Feeling hopeless, enveloped with fear and anxiety, I found it very hard to move from my bed. Days were just getting harder and I was in a downward spiral. I hardly slept, could not focus at my work and felt I did not have control over my life.

One day, I decided to run as a way to feel better from my intense pain. What started off as a temporary relief slowly became a habit and a source of comfort during those hard times. Running was a way for me to get away from my sadness, loneliness, and fear. I remember many days when I would just burst into tears as I ran and did not hold back on the tears. The more I cried, the faster I ran and the more distance I covered.

One of the blessings I had during this time was my family as they were very supportive and did not judge me for what I was going through. I started to see a therapist. I was determined to take better care of myself through proper diet, exercise, and my meditation practices without any medication. I did what I could everyday. They were baby steps. Some days it felt like I took many steps backwards. However, I woke up everyday before sunrise, wore my shoes and stepped outside for a run. During the run, I told myself to start the day as a new day and I self talked into making those baby steps towards a happier self. I felt I had no other choice. I had to do this for myself.

I started enjoying being more in nature. I felt happy looking at the massive trees and listening to the happy chirping of the birds as I ran.

While I have always believed that trees have a magical healing power, I started to experience it first-hand. I was particularly attached to this one big tree that I met everyday on my run. It stood tall, strong and lean. I would stop in front of the tree, be in meditative silence and prayed to be strong, grounded and gentle just like this tree. I felt a friendly and a spiritual connection with this tree and gave him a big hug everyday. Physically hugging the tree made me feel joyful, energized and supported.

I am doing much better now when compared to last year. I am happier, more content and more present in my daily life. I continue to run everyday, eat better, and spend time with my meditative practices. Within the last year, I am making conscious choices for my mental health. I switched jobs from a leadership role to an individual contributor role, so I can reduce my stress at work. I do go through my ups and downs but I feel more grounded, calmer and more at peace in my heart. I am gentle with myself through the process of my sadness or pain knowing I will feel better very soon.

This year, I ran my first 5K marathon and now practicing for my 10K. I am in much better physical shape and mental health than ever before in my entire life. I have a whole different value for happiness, self care and appreciation for little things in my life now. Life may seem to hit the lowest point but it has also taught me to keep looking forward and to take one baby step at a time as the choice of peace and happiness is always within us.

The Unseen Terror – A Child’s Experience of Abuse and Neglect

The sound of screaming reverberated through the walls of the house as 5 year old Annie ran up to the terrace cowered in terror, trying to stay as quiet and still as possible. She had seen it so many times before; her father’s rages and her mother’s desperate pleas for mercy. She had learned to make herself invisible, to pretend that it wasn’t happening. She had developed a survival mechanism of pretending that all was fine; where she would play on her own alone in the terrace, speaking and singing loudly to herself in the hopes of not hearing the abuse and cries. 

Annie would later stealthily walk her way back to her room and crawl up to her blanket to try to comfort herself to sleep, after what seemed like an eternity. The silence following the outburst was unnerving. The air felt thick and heavy, as if the room was filled with something that couldn’t be seen.

At times she found her father had left for work after the abuse and she had felt nothing but an overwhelming sense of relief.

All Annie needed was her parents to hold her, cuddle her, and let her know everything was fine and nothing was her fault. However, her parents were so deep in their own pain and anger, leaving Annie confused and scared. 

As Annie grew older, Annie found it increasingly difficult to trust people and form meaningful relationships. She was very selective in friends. She was constantly on guard. Her parents had taught her that love was equated with pain, so she kept most people at a distance. Annie’s past trauma had a lasting effect on her into adulthood. She struggled to manage her emotions, often feeling overwhelmed and powerless. She often felt like a victim, unable to control the events that were happening around her. The feelings of insecurity and mistrust followed her throughout her life, leaving her feeling isolated and alone.

The trauma experienced by children who witness physical abuse and experience neglect can be severe and long-lasting. It can lead to a range of long-term physical, psychological, and social problems. These can include, but are not limited to, physical bruises and injuries, anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, and other forms of psychological trauma. Children who witness physical abuse may experience intense fear, guilt, and shame, as well as feelings of helplessness and powerlessness. They may feel that they are to blame for the abuse or that they should have been able to prevent it. They may also experience difficulties with trust, intimacy, and relationships. In extreme cases, they may even become abusers themselves.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a common and effective treatment for adults with childhood trauma, particularly those who have witnessed abuse. CBT focuses on identifying and changing unhealthy thought patterns, behaviors, and reactions to stressful situations. It is often used in combination with other therapeutic interventions, such as psychodynamic and trauma-informed therapies. CBT can help individuals gain insight into their own behavior and learn skills to effectively cope with stress. In addition, CBT can help individuals to become more aware of their triggers and feelings, and how to manage them in a healthy way. CBT can also help individuals develop healthier relationships and communication skills.

Hi, I am Sujatha..

Welcome to my blog about my personal journey for better mental health and happiness!

Hello! I’m Sujatha Bharath, sharing life with my husband and our two wonderful teenage boys. Looking back at my journey over these past years, I’m filled with gratitude for how far I’ve come. From navigating childhood trauma and depression to discovering a deep sense of peace, my path has been one of continuous growth and healing.

Through Open Heart practices, meditation, and daily awareness, I’ve learned to embrace each moment as it comes. The beauty of living in the present has taught me that true joy isn’t about being the center of my own universe – it’s about letting go and allowing life to flow naturally.

My earlier healing journey through physical fitness, nutrition, and meditation laid the foundation for where I am today. Now, I find myself in a space of peace and contentment, where self-awareness has become less about fixing and more about being. The practices that once helped me heal now help me thrive and grow.

This blog has evolved along with me. While it began as a way to document my recovery and self-discovery, it’s now a space where I share the simple joy of present-moment living. I write about the everyday wisdom that comes from staying open-hearted and the freedom that comes with letting go.

I still believe in living authentically, but I’ve discovered that authenticity isn’t something we chase – it’s what remains when we stop holding on so tightly to who we think we should be. I hope that by sharing these insights, I can connect with others who are on their own journey of opening their hearts to life’s possibilities.

Thank you for being part of this continuing journey of growth, awareness, and joy.